well... folks...

i've been doing a little backtracking on live journal... for appx. the past week... wow... so many people are doing terribly. of course not everyone... just, well, quite a few.

and so i've come to the conclusion... that i'm done with live journal. that's all there is to it folks. i've been sick of live journal for some time now. but i've finally decided to just... give it up.

so g'night

and

that's all

FUCK FORENSICS

today was bad

fuck

i want to kill them
i want to kill you
i want to kill me

fuck you
fuck them
fuck me

fuck it all

i hate everyone and everything and i hope everyone and everything dies

i should take that back

but i don't wanna

i cried three times today...

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

::::tears::::

holy fuck.. so gee dubya admitted why he's so pissed with saddam. "after all, this is the man who tried to kill my dad"... YOU FUCKASS!!!! YOU DIDN'T GET ELECTED TO THE PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE TO FIX YOUR FATHER'S FUCK-UPS!!!! YOU WERE ELECTED TO PROTECT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, NOT THROW US INTO A WAR BECAUSE SADDAM MESSED WITH YOUR FUCKING DADDY WHO COULDN'T TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF!!!! AND YOU SHOULDN'T BE PUTTING THE SECURITY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ON THE LINE BECAUSE YOUR FATHER COULDN'T FINISH WHAT HE STARTED.

woo... i feel better

so... i hate george bush... they said on cnn this morning that even though over 2/3 of americans approve of going to war with the help of the un (statistic from newsweek magazine)... those who are against war are speaking far more loudly and passionately about their disapproval. because those who disapprove are the ones that know what's going on!!!!

and also i love trent lott... he's so cute... even though he supports bush... he's still really smart and professional.

only a fool would bet the lives of other men's sons and daughters for his own arrogance for something he can dismiss
~??

who is the enemy, president bush or saddam hussein?
~trent lott

the administration ahs not mafe a convincing case that a pre-emptive, unilateral strike against iraq is neccessary
~sen. kennedy

my message to the senate is you need to worry less about sepcial interests and more about the security of the american people
~gee dubya

you tell those who fought in vietnam and wwII that they don't care about the american people
~sen. majority leader, tom daschle

john mccain is a fuckass too. i GREATLY dislike him. he is so arrognat... he's on cnn right now doing an interview with wolf blitzer (who is my favorite cnn reporter). he just talks like he knows what's right and what's wrong and he knows everything. he's annoying.

the fact that we don't know where they are should not cause us to focus on another enemy
~al gore, on attacking saddam rather than al qaeda, avenging 9-11

k i'm done

our inspection shows that a driveway approach and/or sidewalk and/or courtesy walk in front of and/or adjacent to your property is damaged and/or in a condition that warrants replacement.

say and/or one more fucking time... i dare you!

want to update a long post... but i won't

i love jimmy eat world

i love motion city soundtrack

i love guys that let me stand in front of them at concerts because they're too tall for me to see over them

i also love eggo waffles

and boys

some of them

ok just a few

but that is all


goodnight

an entire entry devoted... just to you sir!

the sexiest of the sexy....

**dave mf zayas**

oh by the way... wanna fuck?

steve irwin
orlando bloom
elijah wood
brad pitt
jake gyllenhaal
benicio del toro
jeremy sisto
sean patrick flanery
norman reedus
andy
alec baldwin
christian slater
toby maguire
kevin spacey
guy pierce
hugh grant
colin firth

hell fucking yes

today had the potential to be a great day...

0 for neutral
+ for goods
- for bads
++ for really goods
-- for really bads... and no to all you smart asses who are going to ask if a double negative equals a positive... it's two wrongs making a right. fuckasses.

--i hate my mom. my mom hates me. blah blah blah... araz... i have to tell you the rest of the story. she's a fucking whore.
+kati peach pulled out a hand full of change from her pocket and asked if anyone had change for a twenty.
-there's someone i want to kill right now but i can't.
++araz got stuck in an elevator... hehehe...
+play practice!!! so excited!!!
-my character never uses subjects in her sentences. it's rather annoying.
--couldn't hang out with araz today... so sad.
0 got new clothes for senior pictures. fought over what looked good an what looked "awful" (thanks ma). finally ended up with two new shirts and two new pairs of pants.
+++and now prepare to hear the best part of my day... i get home after araz drops me off from play practice and there's something on my porch. it's wrapped in comics and there's a note on it that says "kt". so i open the note and read it. it says "thought you could use a nice refreshing vitamin filled beverage...". so i unwrap it and it's a 3-liter of faygo pineapple orange soda. jason jarvi... you are the man. i love you mr. jarvi!

and that was my day...

2 times

i haven't updated in a long while... here it goes

~thursday... chilled with angie. i FINALLY watched the godfather... the greatest movie of all time.. and i just saw it for the first time three days ago
~thursday was also dance. big bruise on my knee... owie!
~mother left for the weekend. stupid me thought i'd have a good weekend because of it. oops. spoke too soon.
~friday was all a distant dream. i only remember the best and worst parts. cried, lost my job, sucked at callbacks. and then of course there were the better parts.
~saturday... slept all day because i didn't have to work. wanted to see people but couldn't... because i had no way of fucking calling anyone!
~then saturday night... i got to be all pretty and sexy and stuff and wear a dress and watch a really awesome string quartet for 2 hours!!! first there was a dinner with a speaker who gave a sort of lecture on chamber music. it was thouroughly interesting. then we watched the concert... they played three quartets... shuller (sp?), beethoven, and mozart.. it was so fucking awesome. my dad was ready to kill me cuz he didn't want to go. i made him. it was awesome though.
~then today i slept all day again... cuz i didn't have to work. and then i came home... and did nothing again. now i'm going to watch a movie at my dad's with araz. yea!! OH WAIT!!!!!!!!! the fucking sopranos are on tonight!!!!!!!
~and i'm "auditioning" for jesse and kazia's band... which is no longer called schlub but some other name i can't remeber at the moment. they want me to sing. how exciting.

k i'm done

3 times

today was... fall-on-your-face-tired day

~i worked 12-5:30... but i ended up working reception for most of the day. well, some other girl was working the kk. she's a designer's kid. and i went in and out of the kk for the day. then around 5:45 when i was finishing up all my reception stuff, i went back upstairs to get my stuff that i left in the kk. the place was annihilated. there were cups of pop all over the room and toys everywhere. the tv was still on. the movies were laying all over the floor. so i had to stay an extra 15 minutes to clean it up. then i went and looked outside and saw that my father was not there to pick me up, which he should have been a half an hour before anyways. so i call him and he's sitting at home watching tv. so i wait outside in the dreary, cold, drizzly weather for 30 minutes.
~i love working reception. al the sales reps are growing on me. i love that all the 30 and 40 year old men hit on me. it's kinda funny. andrew, donald, ryad, bill, ron, and even jeremy were teasing me today. they all call me names... they call me katie-belle and sweatheart and doll. and geralynn calls me miss katie. it's so fun. then ryad was telling me to pray for him to get a good up. then this black lady walks in and he goes "don't pray for me anymore".
~i get home at 7. and lo! there is homemade cabbage soup awaiting me! i ate 2 bowls of it... and i feel sick now.
~tonight is the season premiere of the sopranos AND... *T*H*E* *P*R*A*C*T*I*C*E*!*!*!*!*!*!* WOOOO!!!!!!!!!! i'm so fucking excited!!!!!! can you tell?!?!?!??!!?
~forensics tomorrow!
~play auditions this week!
~jason jarvi's birthday this week!
~this saturday night i'm going to see julliard's string quartet in birmingham with my dad and venus. i'm kinda excited.

i think that is all for now

toady was loooooonng

~work was long. i went in at 9:15 in comparison to my usual 10 for whatever reason my dad wanted to take me to work to talk or something weird. anyways... i worked ALL day. when there was downtime, geralynn, one of the sales reps, came in and told me she'd give me twenty bucks to tag her section. well i didn't know what the fuck that meant but i agreed to it. i made an extra twenty bucks today. i had the two cutest kids in the whole world today too, one little down syndrome girl who spoke only spanish and a little albino boy. the little girl kept kissing my hand and putting her arm around me. we were watching blue's clues and she and her brother were singing all the songs in spanish. it was so cute! then the little albino boy had the whitest skin and pure white hair. his eyes were bright blue, but if you caught him at the right light, you could see a little red circle lining his pupils. he was so sweet. he was very gentle and calm. it was one of my most interesting days at work that once again left me believing... kids are great! in other news, i met art van today! finally! after working for his company for *THREE* fucking years. i guess he came in on a little surprise visit to the store to check things out. anyways... didn't leave 'till 6:45.
~got home at 7:15ish. was supposed to go see pirates with ashley. i called her 3 times and the line was busy. so i called angie to see if she wanted to go but she wasn't home. called her cell. no answer. called ashley again. she'd left. didn't have her cell #. didn't know who else to call. gave up. took a nap. ate food. wanted to throw up. didn't. then the phone rang!!!!! it was courtney! and then she came and picked me up. and i second-acted. then we went to coney island and blasted frank sinatra while cruising gratiot. ran into a few people at coney island. i heart nate winn. then we went home. and as we were driving down toepfer, we saw some guy fall face down off a scooter. we felt so bad for him that we turned around to make sure he was ok. turned out it was steve albret (sp?). was kinda funny.
~tomorrow is work... again... more... yuck...

i think that is all for now

2 times... good mood

ya gonna shimmy shimmy shimmy 'till the break of dawn, yea!

i love everything and everyone right now.

i love chocolate (even when it tastes metallic)
i love courtney
i love baskin/dunkin 31
i love system of a down
i love frank sinatra
i love getting hit on by random guys cruising gratiot
i love tool
i love al
i love jake gyllehaal
i love my middle name (wait... where did that come from?)
i love feeling good
i love my jones soda hoodie
i love my tuesday underwear on friday
i love the pizza boy
i love tommy boy
i love e-mail from my grandma
i love my grandma
i love my aunt diane
i love my aunt patti
i love smelling good
i love showering with my clothes on
i love waking up to the sunrise out my window
i love drugs
i love you
i love sleep

speaking of which... it is time for bed... i had no nap today! must sleep now!

oh! and... one last thing... fuck my mom

i had a routine feeling that i needed to update... i don't want to... but i feel like i have to... as if the whole lj world would be missing out on something if i didn't... hahahahhahahha

today was good

~so THIS morning... i got up and i thought... it's going to be a good day because i'm not in a rush this morning and i'm going to wear my new sweater and my pretty scarf (even though some people didn't like it :p) and i'm going to have lots of energy. and then i opened my eyes. and what d'ya know! they BOTH opened!! and i had a good day!
~last night however, i was having random back spasms and not-able-to-move-ness happening. how painful. and damn did i sleep like shit too.
~my drawing of my still life that i will be painting monday is coming along very well. i'm kind of excited about it. i'm a geek.
~psychology is really not my kind of class. it's like a big confessional. let's have everyone tell their inner most fucking secrets! it angers me. i hate that mrs. battaglia wants everyone to share. as much as i love mrs. battaglia... the whole sharing thing is not working for me. especially with connie fucking summers in my class. oh well i'm retarded. blah blah blah...
~i painted for three hours today. it's unfinished but it's so cute. i'm excited. now i have to get picture frames to put pictures in so i can start hanging things up. i hate my bare walls. they're really boring me.
~dance tonight! woo!
~i want new clothes. who wants to go shopping?!?!
~i was in hallmark a couple days ago and i saw this cute card that said "when life hands you lemons..." (inside~>) "stick 'em in your bra. can't hurt. might help." and it reminded me of my aunt diane, cuz she and i both have a passionate love for lemons. so i got it for her and wrote her a little note in it. she called me today to thank me and we talked on the phone for 20 minutes or so. 'twas nice.
~i've been trying like hell to try and start up conversation with debbie, the foreign exchange student who is in my first hour. she seems really nice and i always wanted to get to be friends with a foreign exchange student. but i've had the hardest time trying to talk to her. me... without words... fancy that. anyways, today i was walking to 4th hour and i saw her in the hall. she smiled and waved at me! so i waved and smiled back. and it made my day.

oh what to do with the 8 to 9 hour before dance... hmm... CAT NAP!

2 times

So Unsexy

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood
Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make
Me feel the way I thought only my father could

Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me
One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked
How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily
I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful
So unloved for someone so fine
I can feel so boring for someone so interesting
So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me
One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated
Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me
Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated

When will you stop leaving baby?
When will I stop deserting baby?
When will I start staying with myself?

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me
I jump my ship as I take it personally
Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me

shit i want popcorn now

I'm in the mood to capitalize my I's

haha no i'm not

today was retarded. pretty much everything that happened today was retarded. the weather was nice. i think that was about it.

~i woke up this morning thinking it was a half day and it was going to be nice out. it was going to be a good day. then i opened my eyes. well, not really... i opened my eye. my right eye has been swollen all day. FOR NO FUCKING REASON. it stings, it itches, it burns. it fucking hurts. i didn't complain too much though. or at least i tried not to.
~people want to make september 11th a holiday. yeah... right... let's fucking celebrate. woopdeefuckingdoo. i didn't even want to turn on cnn when i got home today. for those of you who didn't know... that's one of my weird obsessions. i come home everyday and turn on cnn. well i didn't today. i put a movie in and fell asleep.
~i woke up to the smiling fucking face of my mother. i fucking hate when she wakes me up while i'm napping. me napping means you fuck off. bitch.
~i ate one meal today. no wonder my body is falling apart. i don't have any nutrients in my body. i should fix that. where's the slim fast?
~i have to write a reaction paper to 9-11 for current issues. bleh. procrastinating...
~my hips and lower back started randomly spasming today. woo.
~i have been labelled a pirate by kati peach. hardy fucking har.
~i'm trying to cancel my subscription to seventeen. i fucking hate that magazine. i've had a subscription to it for some 4 years. i hate it. i always read it anyways. don't know why but i do. and then i got the renewal form in the mail the other day. i tossed it. then my mom asked about it. i told her to subscribe me to time instead. she thought i was kidding. guess who's in october's issue... that's right jake mf gyllenhaal. and they put a comment in the magazine about the emo thing. some girl wrote in about it all pissed off. the little response from the editor proved my fucking point. emo kids don't read 17 magazine. why the fuck did they get so many complaints?
~and now it's 9:30 and i'm tired... again... still... more... so i'm off to bed. despite the fact that i've been sleeping all day and i got a ton of sleep last night and i slept all day yesterday and the day before that. i'm going to go sleep some more.

night night

10 times

today sucked...

i love that on msn, if you're online when you receive an e-amil, a little mesage box pops up. i just got three little boxes that said you have a message from nancy ventura.

that just made my day a little better...

~so i'm watching talkback live on cnn and this chick they have as a guest speaker to talk about terrorist attacks says "these al qaeda terrorists aren't interested in anniversaries. 9-11 has little meaning to them. i think if they attack again they would choose a day like october 28th, you know, a day that has no meaning" i knew that wasn't my day. bad shit always happens on october 28th. in eigth grade, i got suspended on october 28th. first and only time i've ever been suspended. october 28th of 2000 i was kicked out of my mom's house. she wouldn't even go to my brithday party. shit fucking happens on october 28th. i hope to god al qaeda attacks tomorrow... just so that they can't fuck with october 28th. this october 28th is going to be different.
~school was ok.
~i'm really frustrated with people right now. indecisive. fuck that. make up your fucking mind. you can't have what you want if you don't know what you want. fuck fwb. that's what indecisive is. fuck that. some people just fucking deserve better.
~on a different subject, i love knowing that i'm better than a few people. not many. but a few. and knowing that i'm better than someone makes me feel really good. even if i AM the scum of the fucking earth.
~and lastly, the word hoist is very funny. haha... hoist... hahaha

9 times

once a lonely caterpillar sat and cried
to a sypmathetic beetle by his side
i've got to nobody to hug
i'm such an ugly bug
then a spider and a dragonfly replied
if you're serious and want to win a bride
then come along with us
to the glorious
annual ugly bug ball

then the caterpillar found his lovely queen
she was beautiful in yellow, black, and green
he said would you care to dance
their dancing led to romance
all at the ugly bug ball

come on let's crawl
gotta crawl gotta crawl
to the ugly bug ball
to the ball to the ball
and a happy time we'll have there
one and all
at the ugly bug ball

i love that song. it's on a sing along video at work that i was watching yesterday and STILL have stuck in my head. it's the cutest song in the whole world.

today was a good day

~set up my still life for a painting in 3rd hour. it's really awesome. my favortie random object is in it. my drawing of it looks really good so far. and i'm excited about it. so there.
~i heart ashley sangret. i need to hang out with her.
~intro to computers is the most boring class in the whole fucking world.
~mrs. matera doesn't know what the fuck alliteration is and she sucks. except she's not too bad when she doesn't think she's right.
~forensics new season officially starts next monday! woo!
~i made my brother mac and cheese and we sat and talked about how boring intro to computers is and other random things. 'twas rather fun.
~i took a nap. two hours. fell asleep right before my mom came home. she woke me up at 7 cuz my dad wanted to talk to me... i don't think i ever talked to him. he has tickets to see the dso and i'm going with him and venus. i guess he's really excited about it.
~coffee ice cream is yum

and... i'm done